i dun understand the mentality of selfish creatures on earth.. they sucks to core.. onli knowing how to care or themselves.. not for tinking for others.. y muz we do projs in groups.. cant it simply b an individual assignment? at least if i fail.. i fail with pride.. i cant push blame to anyone.. farked up.. everything is so last minute.. actually we have lotsa time.. but time is jus not spent properly.. or on the correct stuffs.. if one sentence of i dunno.. can solve everything and push all the jobs to others.. i also know how to say k... whole grp dunno.. then jus hug tog and die la..

alice passed the invitation cards to me today.. and i had to go SAA to give it to fayanne.. and fayanne asked me to give one by one to them.. to show my sincerity... i was like OMG.. do i reali have to do tt? make me so paiseh.. most of them stil in the office.. and i dunno their name la.. fayanne had to point here and there to hint me hu is hu.. then i start to refer to the cards tt i have and find their names.. i look like a sotong.. look like a fool.. and when it reach khartini.. she was kidding saying tt she wanna c if alice has written her name correctly.. cos someone address her as mr khartini b4.. khartini is my sis cca-in-charge.. and she intro me to uncle sam today.. my sis ex cca-in-charge.. specifically telling him tt i m peiming sis.. haha.. oh wow.. tt's like a bid deal rite..anywae alice made one mistake too.. though i didnt tell her.. she address as ms kyle.. when actually it's mr kyle... so i had to edit it using pen.. hopefully it is nice amended without him finding it out.. hee.. actually i tink if it is me.. i will also address wrongly lo..wahaha.. sounds so gal la.. haha...i always amend things one la.. amend instructor contract.. tt's like so brave of me rite.. haha... i finally submitted my camp proposal.. like FINALLY.. now.. one thing off my mind...
______________________________________________

everyday seems to b a busy day...
today is no exception.. right from 9am all the way stretch till 7pm.. i have lessons or projs or stuffs to do... no break ok... but yah.. i stil manage to squeeze out a pathetic 15 minutes to have my lunch.. went to engin school.. hee.. as usual.. my fav canteen among all.. had tom yam soup.. with a plate of rice plus hashbrown... eat until damn full la.. of cos.. i didnt manage to finish the rice..

yongsheng and ally were sitting face to face each other.. knowing they r now so good.. happi for them... we finally c a smile on ally face.. she reali happi i guess.. during tt meal.. when we look at her.. she will blush one lo..and giggling to her herself.. damn funni.. she in her honeymoon mood now.. hee...

missing my bran baby.. it has been two days since we last met up... tomolo will b the third.. haiz... somehow i miss him... he cant book out today.. on duty.. tomolo i will end late so it's not possible to meet him.. thurs got wsad assignment plus modern dance also not possible to meet.. fri got performance.. also not veri possible to meet... haha.. so yah... but i miss him...

loren they all suggested wearing soccer jerseys for our coming fri performance.. since we performing for an event.. world cup soccer camp... but some of us dun have it.. stil finding... we'll have to c how... decide by tomolo...

this is e most boring practical lesson i ever had in my whole entire life...
for the whole lab lesson.. we r jus sitting there and rot..practically doing nothing..
waiting for shawwen to show us the codings..and there he is.. taking his own sweet time to type..
everyone got so bored and started surfing the net... n now.. jas seah is beside me.. reading ppl's blog..
ppl go out of the lab to dunno where and comes back a dozen years later..soon.. it shall b my turn...
i cant imagine this is wat i m going through now.. oh man...
two hours seems like one whole day... make no farking sense y i shld b sitting here...waste of time..
i can jus go and grab some food before the next lesson actually starts..

saturday is a dance day...
but advance ppl didnt get to dance much due to some miscommunications with MAG ppl..
ryan told us to be prepared to be whack by him when he is back from his trip..
he wants us to do it one by one.. individually...
kinda worried.. cos some moves tt i do.. i feel so disgusted by it.. i jus cant excute it nicely..
will have to work harder..

today baby told me bout his plan after his ORD...
well.. i will stay by him and be supportive...
jus like how supportive he is towards me.. haha..
he is forever so caring la..
melting my heart day by day..
can no longer b the ice woman...

went to taka with joan today to get her ah ma present..
she got her ah ma a jade ring.. and she reali choose with care..
haha.. this shows her sincerity..
we walked along the pathways tt were filled with roadshows going on..
and she went to the hsbc one to ask for a balloon.. and i was like omg...
i had old chang kee today again... and it stil tastes as nice although i have been eating lotsa old chang kee recently.. the yam pie is nice la.. though i dun reali like normal yam stuffs..

went home kinda early.. ard evening time and spent my time with the tv..
and prac dance.. hopefully.. it looks abit better.. somehow.. some movements yes..
the rest stil have to buck up..
and i spent my time facing the com doing dance stuffs again...
dance my way to supp paper...

feeling so sick now.. down with flu.. for the whole day..
and cough and lost my voice...
but i stil happily continue eating fried stuffs.. tidbits and all..
i dun give it a shit... cos i believe it will eventualy recover on its own..

projects and projects and projects..
met up with jasmine seah in the morning..
and with joreen joey and lewis in the afternoon..
turtle and chia also in school doing proj..
we had lunchy tog..
and they not doing proj la.. they end up watching video clips and stil ask me watch with them..
we watched one clip for like 6 to 7 times.. jus trying to figure out what exactly is tt thing..
abit stupid but it's quite myserious though..hee..

alot of dance stuffs have to settle.. luckily i got wayne to help me with my hip hop side things..
such as generating of name list.. hope he wil do a good job.. wahaha...
yang is away from singapore to celebrate her bdae...
mayb we shld jus chip in some marni and buy her a present..
afterall she is our dance president...

i finish quite a number of things todae..
which i m quite happi with myself.. but somehow i neglected baby..
i have been ice woman for practically the whole day..
i started my ooad.. my wsad... now they're like hanging in the air.. but better than nothing is done...
i finish consolidating the name list for wayne to do his job...
i did my dance camp memo..
i replied wadeva i emails i had to reply..
and inform everyone about wad's happening in our forum..
yeah.. tt's about it..

i had to call all the dance ppl to inform them tt there are lessons tomolo..
imagine how mani ppl i have to call..
and those tt i cant reach i have to msg them..
i dun reali mind doing all these la..
but have some common sense to reply whether u coming or not.. let me know ma..
i mean tt's common courtesy wat.. farking idiots...
wonder how they learn their manners la..
it's like i msg.. but sending blank messages.. and no one reply me..
then i trying to call one guy.. shall not mention names..
he volunteered to opent he dance studio..
so i have to teach him how to go about drawing the keys wat..
jus wanna call and ask him to meet tomolo 15 minutes earlier..
and he best la.. he hang up on me twice.. another farker..

saw xingan on the street today.. happen to bump into each other.. but happy enuff...
cos i miss her.. reali miss her..
seng have not been online lately.. guess he's busy or wat..
and bran baby is sick... haiz.. tt's bad...
kinda worried for him.. but yeah... i m ice woman.. i wont tell him in the face tt i m worried..
vivian is teasing me bout me and bran baby.. stupid boy u watch out man.. haha..
_______________________________________________

when u decided on when to meet up for projs.. then stick to it la..
dun always change.. very irritating... u all can make it doesnt mean i can make it wat..
spare some considerations can... and ten minutes before we meet then u all call.
might as well dun call.. i was about to step out of the house oreadi la..
might as well jus let me go to school and b an idiot there.. stare at the com in the lab.. for hours..
in e end.. i jus stay at home till noon time then meet turtle for lunch.. and he's late for 20 minutes...i sitted at the mushroom there like an idiot..thanks ar turtle.. haha.. he told me he decided not to go for his piano concert.. i dun understand his reason for doing so.. but yah.. we muz respect his decision..

DANCE MEETING.. at first we planned for it to end at 730.. which is quite late..
but we realise our discussions went on quite fast... haha.. which is good..
but until we reach the AGM part.. kinda problematic.. but yah..
we stil finding solutions to it.. the FOOD part... lalalalala...
we stuck at that AGM topic for so long.. ard an hour time..
my DANCE CAMP PROPOSAL due next week.. but i have yet to amend and do any changes..
tt's like so brave of me rite.. haha

wsad assignment submission date POSTPONE.. from week 10 to week 11...
yes man!! which means the submission is next next week.. haha
and i decided to reject the changi youth ambassador performance..
cos i c no point performing... seriously la..
we go all the way to changi airport to perform..
they dun provide transportation.. they dun pay us.. and we stil need to apply leave from school to absence ourselves from lessons to go for this performance.. like diao rite..
no doubt it's a good chance of exposure for us.. but we ownselves held up by alot of other things..
like we have other performances.. our agm.. our concert.. our dance camp.. everything..
beside all these we stil have our studies.. and projs.. poly life jus sucks totally..

yesterdae met up with bran baby... he keep saying he is scare i m bored.. but no lo..
y shld i b bored.. haha... i enjoyed myself.. alot... we chatted alot.. as usual...
day by day.. i get to know him better and better.. way to go...
and on our way back home.. we enjoyed ourselves with all the banglas on the bus...
haha.. and i saw deyuan on bus.. but i didnt call out for him..
don tink he recognise me also la..
by the time i reach home.. i m so freaking tired la..
so yes.. i didnt touch any dance things AT ALL...
but this morning.. i manage to finish updating the seal point system for graduation ceremony..
haha.. cos tt one takes me less than 10 minutes to get it done.. wahaha...

down with sore throat now.. arrrgh.. my voice sounds so SEXY.. haha..
and jas seah keep teasing me bout the webcam thingy... thanks lots to turtle..
stupid la.. haha..

another day jus pass..
i dun like my day until i met up with belle and ally..
they told me they went to watch silent hills... and they make it sound so nice..
i also wanna watch.. didnt get to join them cos i had dance..
had so much fun with them... they and their black magic.. scary gals..
we chatted alot.. so nice.. haha..
and we played with jeremiah's doggies...
and yes we ate alot today..
i had cuttlefish porridge... the cuttlefish is nice but not the porridge.. the porridge is far too watery..then i had rojak..belle had chwee kueh(which i steal some also) and indian rojak..then ally had fishball dong fen soup... and we drank home made barley...eat until damn full la.. haha..

alot of things happened in dance today.. as usual..
but i shall not update... too long a story...
ryan send us aeroplane today.. haha... no la..
initially he say he coming 2pm to 3 plus..
but in e end he's late and he called to say he wasnt able to rush down..
so yah.. we ended up doing cleaning up of steps and everything..
and started some team bonding stuffs...
like ice breaking...we shld ahve jus played chop chilli chop as well.. haha..
i miss tt game man.. i shall add tt in my memo proposal for dance camp..

today didnt meet bran baby...
but we chatted on the fone..
the first thing tt comes to my mind when i reach home is to call him..

tomolo my schedule is as follows..
11am to 3pm.. ooad assignment..
3pm to 730pm.. meeting with dance main comm and fayanne..
hopefully tt's not alot of things to bring up on the agenda..
730 onwards.. it's time with bran baby.. haha.. lalalalalala...

this week is meant to b spent on on projs..
no more dance..
i have no wish to dance my way to supp paper.. haha
there's so much to do.. which to start first..

we had so many performance coming up... oh man.. how to cope..
30 jun 2006 --> world cup soccer camp ---> 11pm
4 July 2006 --> dance ensemble AGM --->6pm (ends at 10pm)
7 July 2006 --> Changi Airport performance -->3 to 6pm
so far tt's it..

changi airport performance..
we r stil trying to c what advantage they can give us before we perform..
not we wanna b like haolian la..
but they dun even provide transportation..
dun pay us.. stil want us to take LOA jus to perform..
makes no sense la.. we look so like a charity dance team la.. wahaha...

bran baby came over to my house area and we had dinner tog..
though it's onli like a short period of time..
but well.. i m contented.. haha..
tomolo mayb meeting xingan... haha..
miss her.. haven been seeing her lately..

tomolo dance..
thurs proj and meeting with fayanne.. and main comm gals..
we shall bitch again.. haha..
and fri.. most prob dance again...

today was another long day...
i decided to wake up late although bran gave me a morning call..
haha.. tt is how lazy i m...
but i manage to rush down to school and finish wad eva i have to finish..my mp...
then drop by fayanne office.. cos i simply have too much things to ask her..
i m unclear bout lotsa things...
communication between me and yang breaking down..
she say she got alot of things to tell me.. but we jus don have time to meet each other..

i manage to b able to b down to the studio at ard 1 or 1 plus..
with some juniors..hu are rather close with me nowadays..
wayne..xiaoqiang..danny..pris..vivien..laura..justin..
we had some chat... and i also got mingle ard with other juniors la..
abit here and there lo.. then dance started.. but today is a super slacking day..
izzit cos ryan is not here to drill us? i tink everyone mood is jus now there..
after dance.. i tink there is some probs between this grp.. laura broke down..
i dunno y.. stil trying to find out.. no one knows exactly wat is happening..
ally also had some prob with her ibf too.. for those hu wanna know wat is ibf..
can ask me.. i will explain.. haiz.. ally is in a difficult state now..
cant break with this jerk.. i hope she wont have to struggle on for too long..

went to meet bran at nite.. had a fun time... enjoy being with him la..
haha.. i'm a xin fu de xiao nu ren..
he bought me old chang kee..
with my fav green tea... so sweet...
although the time we spent tog is not very long..
but the time with him is jus so enjoyable..
i enjoy talking to him alot... cos he always listens to my complains..
hope he ORD soon.. then i wont have to worried if he is being send to somewhere again..
haha... tt's my selfish mentality...

today is a fantastic day...
had meeting with some juniors.. wanting to know they comments and all..
turn out quite well.. they r fun ppl.. love being with them.. i know hu i favour more..
but yah.. it shall be kept a secret.. haha

went for diane's commercial..
wasnt reali fun though.. but since i accepted it.. oh well.. jus continue with it la..
it's e experience tt matters.. since i know i dun like it..
then let this b first and last time?

here come the fantastic part...
haha.. i had to meet diane at sengkang today...
and here comes my angel fetching me from tampines to sengkang..
and after tt from sengkang back to tampines..
and then he goes back home(sengkang) again..
and after the prac.. he bought me drinks and tissue.. haha... he so cute la..
haha.. so sweet rite... omg...
my hearts melting.. haha...
he nvr fails to cheer my day up man..
continuously 2 days meeting him... lalalalala

got emails of 2 performances from fayanne..
one of them i will ask my dancers tomolo.. it's on 7 july.. fri.. 3 to 6pm..
another one is on the 9 and 10 dec.. which is so far away..
according to acad calendar.. it's next sem.. a week b4 their term test..
the second one i have to reply by this week.. sound so impossible..
by tt time i m having my attachment( if nothing goes wrong this sem).. haha..
and how i promise.. if no one wants to do how?
then the blame goes to me again..

i did not update my blog yesterdae..
cos i was so busy with AGM stuffs..
now tinking of wat to bring up for tomolo meeting..
invitation card done.. haha.. like finally..
from the day i came back from joan house till now..
i m freaking tired... cos not enuff sleep...
i shall b nice to myself and sleep early today..

today i had a long day at IBMEC..
from 7 am to 6 pm...
and all we did is to sit down in a room.. like those tut room in tp..
and listen and listen and listen... so boring..
they brief us on issues which i dun tink governors hu come will ask la..
we started off with like names of impt ppl in singapore and their positions..
then issues like wat feastivals singapore celebrate.. local delights and all..
and then to singapore history... san nila utama.. raffles.. WWII.. merger.. independence..
then to political and economic issues.. which is the part i doze off...
then lunch.. and back from lunch..
the story continues.. teaching bout how we shld present ourselves..
what are the common questions they usually ask..
luckily i got belle same grp with me for the whole day..
if not.. i tink i will jus die of boredom..
the guys in my class was kiddish la..
they laugh at their own lame jokes.. and make so much noise.. idiots man..

after which is my free time.. ally happen to b in orchard..
then we went to met her for a while b4 heading home..
on the bus i doze off.. and when i wake up.. belle was telling me..
i look reali tired and ask me to rest.. haha
at night.. nicest time of the whole day...
went to meet bran and turtle..
haha.. yes.. bran is back.. so happi la..
turtle and his lady fren keep teasing me and bran.. like diao lo..
but i enjoyed my night with bran... so sweet.. haha
if everyday is like today.. i will feel like a princess man.. haha
although it's jus a short period but pei is contented.. haha..
i'll b smiling in my dreams tonight...

tomolo schedule gonna b tight again...
omg... i hope i can have enuff rest tonight..
dance stuffs happen todae...
as usual.. but not big prob...
evryone has diff ways of communicating.. but yah..
phrasing of words and sentences is veri impt...
this shall b push back to tomolo...

pei is feeling love... haha

had a fun time at joan house...
it's like the first time in my whole entire life tt i reali cook..
haha.. nice experience eh...
watch abit of burn the floor.. so nice la..
watch i guess till 2am la..
we played games and all until so late..
everyone was worried tt they cant wake up the next day...

yesterdae is the day bran left...
and the whole day was rainy...
make one even more sad rite..
i wore the leather bracelet out...
to make sure i remember him...

today is a sunni day.. in singapore..
haha.. hope it brightens up everything and things will b well for me..
kinda down in mood todae.. dunno y.. mayb not enuff sleep?
or some other reasons?
he called and we chatted for quite long...
tt reali makes my day a better one..
he listens to all my complains... haha.. poor guy..

got so many things to do la..
stress... tired... missing seng..
he long long time nv online..
no one argue with me... no one calls me potato..
haha...

to bran... i'm waiting for u to call me tomolo morning to let me know u r fine...

he is leaving....
the fear tt i fear has come...
is he gonna come back.. safely?
i m praying hard... he have to come back...
cos he knows i m waiting for him here...

tomolo is meant to b a busy day...
but i dun feel like being busy at all...
not at all.. jus feel like slacking at home...
jus sit down watch tv and chill alone...
cos onli at home and onli talking to him is the time i feel tt the world is peaceful...
ppl r fake..once i step out of the house.. i have tt fear...

term test is finally over...
seems like a gone case for most subjects...
my hard work of proving others wrong stil seem to turn out in a total mess...
what done is done... things shall remain...
shall look forward and face the reality bravely and face the music after tt.. haha

had the problematic performance yesterdae...
phew... a sigh of relief... it's like... finally over...
alot commented it's good.. not bad... but hmmm... ok la...
thru this performance... i learned something new too...
some dancers in the team r jus so fake...
jus so fake... cant stand them...
those hu claimed to b backstabbed r usually the backstabbers themselves..
i shall not mention names... like i say.. reflect...
if ur purpose of being fren with me and nice with me for some reasons or wat..
which i cant fiure out too.. jus forget it.. i rather lose this fren...
i know u r not an easy person and i will stay away from u from on...
jus wanna let u know.. i m not stupid either...
jus hope tt things will b smooth ahead... seems a bit impossible..
but yeah.. stay positive... say optimistic... sounds like lying to myself eh?
haha...

went to chuan modern dance class today... at sdt(s'pore dance theatre)...
quite fun... learning basic technique.. it's jus like another new experience...
enjoyed it... and it's like a meeting up session between me and xinyi...
cos... we have not met up for a long time... missing her.. missing the young days...
xinyi joke of the day:

xinyi: so seng and zhao ming is how many years apart?
pei: one year lo.. one is 85 one is 84..
XINYI: SO MEANING THEY R NOT TWINS AR?
pei: (thinking)... tt's like bloody obvious... haha...
xingan: *burst out laughing...

dance concert has been postponed to a later date...
from july to oct.. wat a great diff...
what we wanted in the first place.. but toothless bimbo say cannot...
now she say can again... wat is her farking prob.. i dunno...
but at least in e end she is nice.. so i shall b a bit nicer to her too?
i'll try to... haha... try k...
as a result of tt... my dance camp shall b postpone too..
yipee ya yo... claps...
i haven get down to serious preparations la..
mon having meeting with main comm ppl and her...
and it's gonna b another long hours meeting...
dun feel like going.. cos most of the time.. there's no conclusion after e meeting...
so redundant... but i shall jus drag my heavy feet there and give opinions...
muz have faith in main comm ppl... work as a team...
i dunno even know how long can i stay in this team...
*sigh...

i had my first term test paper... ecsa... kinda demoralising...
the whole paper onli consists of 2 questions.. total of 50 marks...
when i saw questions in the first long question asking wat is trojan horse.. network worm.. and buffer overflow..
i'm so happi la.. cos i know i've got the marks in my hands oreadi.. wahaha...
then comes the second question... when i saw it..
i reali feel like closing the paper.. stand up and walk off man..
a question tt worths 10 marks:
State and explain two advantageous of using public-private key pair, as in public ket cryptography?
i reali stare blank lo.. cos i nvr study cryptography... arrrgggghhhhh....
and i have always tout tt onli public key can encrypt and private key can decrypt..
i didnt know it is a vice versa thing la..
and i tout i got tt 5 marks until jon tell me...
and there goes 2 marks of it...

jon and me were on the phone jus now..
and guess wat.. our topic is back to soon aik again...
our idol man... and we discussed wat happen in the LT today...
he drop his stationeries.. and belle helped him to pick it up... since she was sitting in front of him..
then he dropped his question paper... and he wanted to stand up and pick..
human mentality will tell u tt u have to take all ur stationeries before pushing of the table top..
u know those kinda LT tables and chairs... but no ok...
he jus swipe everything off.. and there it goes.. everything lands on the floor AGAIN!!!
i tried hard not to laugh... i turned away and face the wall.. before i start giggling...
when i turn back.. i saw belle looking at me. and she laugh until her face was starting to get red..
and aysha behind me.. was laughing too..
omg.. here comes the best part.. when he left the LT.. he was hoping out k..
fancy he age... he is hopping out of the LT... wtf...
he tinks he is cute la..

and stupid dumb dumb jon keep teasing me bout me and him tog..
then say things like we scratch each other armpit...
and say if he's my husband... imagine me sleeping under his armpit..
and we went on.. more and more crazy... i even said tt i'll help him tie his armpit hair in plaits...
fark man.. i seriously dunno wat's on my mind...
it sounds disgusting.. haha it is man... we r sick... not we.. is jon.. he started it...

fayanne wrote as her msn nick... i have lost trust in ppl...
feel like telling her.. same here... i lost trust in her too...
but nope.. respect...
so i changed my msn nick as...
dance is no longer a conversation...
and personal message...
everything seem so meaningless now...
hoping tt she will get the hint...
but yah.. sometimes bimbo wont understand... Bleh

starting on wsad... all the xml coding... DOM tree.. output... read and write xml... in progress..

my day was relaxing...
i have no freaking idea y...
suppose to b stress and force myself staring at lecture note.. tut and prac..
but yah... e mood is jus not there...
dance is in a total mess now... although getting better..
everything piecing up again...
but a day without confirmation of everything = one day of worry..

in return of my worries...
i got a bouquet of flowers from brandon...
haha... shocked when the flowers came to my house.. looking for xiao pei..
i reali stare at the lady blankly lo.. haha...
the flowers make me smile for the rest of the day.. like a stupid fool..
luckily my father.. hu happen to c it.. didnt ask anything.. otherwise.. i tink i will b lost for words..
the words on the card stated," Dear girl, after a few days of unhappiness, here is a dozen of roses to cheer you up. hope u like it! smile! will always be there for you...Love boy..."
haha... so touching eh...

guess how bran know my address?
a million thanks to my sis...
she confessed it herself... i didnt ask...
she was the culprit hu gave the adress out...
and she turn herself in.. haha...
wtf... she sister until liddat... and she admitted this is not her first time...
which made me puzzled.. so when was the first time?
and she say it was sam... hu msg her and ask...
but i'm curious how sam got my sis number... weird.. nvm...
i know they got their own ways...
sam is the first guy who gave me flowers... and bran was the second...
sam gave me a day before valentine...

jon teached me alot of things today...
wsad... the killer subject..
and i reali put in my heart and soul to study there for a few hours..
serious studying k.. not play play one hor...
haha.. cos in my heart... e determination is there le...
i needa prove ppl wrong!!!!
i stil veri sore bout tt incident...
though i told fayanne i will recover from it..
but... can i reali recover? forget the whole incident? possible?
the scar is there le lo.. will b foreva there... even after i graduate...
i have to admit... i m utterly disappointed in anything tt is regarding dance now..
unless someone somethings somehow can convince me tt things arent tt bad as i tink..

all i have to do.. is tink of u.. i tink of u..
and it's gone...
like u chase away the storm...
making it all ok....

i tink of u.. i tink of u..
and i'm strong...
and i know i can go on...
it;s like u set me free..
when life gets the best of me..
how i tink of u....

a full day meant to b spent is being cut by half...
and due to grad performance again...
fayanne talk to us.. and we argued on the fone.. and she cried...
wad eva la.. cry wont solve matters neither will it help..
and y u cry when it is ur fault... she wanted to meet us and talk to us..
so i have to delay my meeting time with xingan... feel kinda bad...
and i was being accused of leading the dance team to rebel against her..
wtf.. the main purpose of it all calling her is to reason out with her..
and she keep saying tt i m not respecting her...
the point is i m respecting u and tell u we dun wanna perform..
not respecting u == back out silently.. and dun turn up.. i can play bastard one lo...
which u prefer.. u tell me la.. talk to her almost vomitted blood...
reasons jus don get into her head..
the reason she gave me.. like dun flow with wat we r talking.. no sense one lo..


and i have to meet xingan later....
e conclusion is tt we request to take same paper as others.. to b fair..
as least standard of paper is the same.. cos reset set of paper.. may not b e same..
and if request not approve.. we decided not to perform...

xingan bdae was fun.. some sort of gathering also...
went to geylang... hey hey... tink straight.. not go there b mamasan k...
is to go eat dimsum... xingan wanted to go eat dimsum like a dozen years ago...
but we alwaes dun have time to go.. haha... and we bought her a anime figurine...
which made her grin for the whole night... and i feel happi too...
cos my xingan is happi.. and the smiles of my frens manage to cheer me up..
somehow or rather...
and we went to eat dou hua after tt...
reminded of shirong...
my first time there was with sr... glen... bran.. and their fren wormy.. and wormy gf..
and they're so fun la... they wants to challenge each other to finish up the thing..
and they use a straw.. and c hu sucks the fastest.. haha...
cant remember who wins though...
and this is my second time there... haha...
luckily e gals not as creative as e guys.. haha
lotsa photos taken today.. with laine.. but not gonna upload it..
cos so sleepy.. tomolo or another day then upload...

two same guys asked me my schedule on mon...
i know they will read my blog... and they know i m referring to them..
though i dunno y they ask... cos they refuse to ask..
but i jus got a feeling they r up to no good.. haha...

pei going off to bed.....

Introduction
wen u dun understand anything.. dun try to sound as if u understand me...

Scenario
i requested today to take term test paper half and hour earlier than others so tt i can go off for my performance... and the school dun approve... i dun c wat's the farking prob..it's not like it's gonna affect anybody or a big matter in hand... it's not... i believe u lecturers have more impt things to do... n e reason y it was being rejected it's bcos they tink my result not veri good... shld focus on studies and DUN do the performance.. got link meh? it's like taking it half an hour b4 ppl onli wat.. will affect my result? in wat way... tell me pls.. and if they dun approve will affect me even more.. cos i'll b so panicky... seriously man...dunno wat they tinking... think they mistaken their ass as their brains... tt's y cant tink...

small matter --> big matter
a small matter then becomes a big matter.. the director of cca club has to speak to the director of my IT school... and the make a deal with each other... if director of IT agrees to let me do this performance... then the director of cca club will have to promise tt after this performance i have to quit main comm PLUS dance team... wtf... it's the principal who wants us to perform this... making it in general.. will b.. it's the school hu wants me to perform.. and now the school wants me to quit dance team.. and the director of cca club happily promised without even consulting me.. so wat now.. conveying a message to me telling me tt students need not b respected? and we students have to follow u wad eva rules... if tt's e case.. i tell u all.. i will respect u all.. and salute u all with my middle finger.. cool? and it's after everything has been concluded.. that they tell me all... fair? m i in a position to make any decision for myself? to fight for myself.. no... if director of cca club dun agree us to b active in cca... pls...close the whole club down.. if u cant convince urself to b supportive and positive bout wat u r doing... u tink u can convince me? can convince others? if u cant.. then close everything down.. no nid to have cca recruitment...i wasnt given a choice in e veri first place.. refer to my previous entry... we were FORCED to do this performance... and it's jus so last minute...

Fight 1 (action)
and there fayanne is... in her office(fight 1)... trying to explain and debate logics with me.. come on la.. if u tink ur logic will win me.. i wont b in the main comm le lo.. main comm is best for fighting for welfare of members.. basically.. i'm trained to debate le lo.. and now e fault is all on u ... and u... and ur bosses and which eva director it may concern.. i mean i m veri displeased bout the cca club also.. bcos if u want the students to perform and it clashes with their term test.. they basic things u can do is to help them settle everything and not ask the students to do it themselves.. run here and there like a mad dog.. trying to find so and so.. ridiculous rite? now i understand y my dancers no commitment... it all reflects...

Break down 1 (Boo)
this thing reali affected me alot in every single way... my mind is in a whirl... i cant think properly.. so shld say i choose to run away from everything.. i dunno where to find the courage to face it.. to confront everyone and all to settle... at tt point of time.. i jus feel like disappearing... and i told yang(pres of dance team) bout this.. she say she take up the president position bcos i encourage her to do so.. and we r kinda close... mayb cos we stay next block to each other? so she say if i m to leave.. she will leave with me.. cos we promise each other to fight tis battle tog... after some crying... ally somehow or rather manage to get the grin back on my face again... luv her and belle la...

Reputatuion at stake...
seriously speaking.. if we wanna b "guai lan" (pardon me for my language)... we can dun turn up for performance one lo.. e reputation is spoil then spoil la.. u guys out there tink being the most popular art grp easy? managing a team of 100 over ppl with jus one person handling.. easy? i m tired of all this also lo.. and dun try to sweet talk me after wat u all have done to me.. i not not a sweet and cute dancer and i m nvr gonna b one... not ever at least in my poly life.. i m hu i m... bootlicker not welcomed in my life... neither r hypocrite welcomed.. stay away from me..

Fight 2 (Action)
at home... 11 plus pm... in msn (fight 2)... fayanne wanted to explain everything to me.. which i find it pointless oreadi.. u r jus giving me the impression tt u r covering up for u have said to me in the office.. even if e director of cca club tells me tt now they will fight for me to remain in the dance team... seriously lei.. "i give it a shit k"... i m so pissed by everything today.. i dunno how many fark words i have used in her office today... but yes.. it's not like i gonna care.. and yes i admit i did scold the director and all.. tt's bcos u all live in ur own world.. have u all ever tink from the student point of view? dont tell me u all werent once a student..once again.. talk to her in msn.. i broke down.

my thinking... respect me..
no doubt tt i m stubborn... yes i m a stubborn pig.. so? i give it a shit... i can assure u all lo.. i m not e onli one hu is unpleased bout everything... u gain wat u sow... wat u guys sow is tt u guys r so inflexible and all... and what u guys gain in the end.. is a farked up attitude by me... yes... me... come and slap me hard if u disagree with wat i have mentioned... if not.. fark upself upside down or in which ever way u fele comfortable with..search ur soul and ask urself.. whether it's true or not.. i'm not going to care whether fayanne is gonna find her way here to read my blog.. cos wad eva i have said here is wat i have clarify with u..

Resignation of Pei (says goodbye)
tinking of leaving the dance team now... everything seems so worthless.. so meaningless... it's jus like a pool of shit to me at this veri current moment.. i feel shitty too... instead of waiting for u guys.. high handed ppl up there to remove me.. i stil have tt little dignity in me.. i will leave myself... u guys nid no discussion... pointless... even if i stay... jus bcos fayanne is going round explaining to her bosses and begging for me (though she claims this is not begging).. u tink i stil feel proud in the dance team? my ans to tt is NO.. and u tink my commitment level stil there? sad but sorry to say... NO... like i say... how u treat ppl and all... it all goes back to u... (feng shui lun liu zhuan)

Conclusion
end of story... recovering emotionally right now..

today is a super bad day.. almost got the urge to break down...
esp when belle was listening to my prob... she can sense tt i m breaking down soon..
i jus yearn for some understanding....
fayanne(CCA in charge).. i tink she is putting alot of pressure on me..
i hope she understand.. some things i cant decide by myself...
i have to respect the dancers opinion too..
actually grad ceremony.. we suppose to do 6 june and 8 june..
but in e end she say 6 june no need.. cos they found performers..
then now they ask us to perform again... cos they tink we r more professional..
then i say cannot.. she say we dun have a choice since we agreed to do tt time..
but have it ever can across ur bloody mind tt when we agreed tt time. we got time to prepare..
now got not? dun have lo..
and all our tests clash with tt timing.. so she say she arrange us to take another day.. wtf..
nvm.. since liddat i agreed.. after asking the dancers...
and then she know we agreed le.. she ask if we wanna take over modern dance slot for 7 june...
cos she say her boss tink hip hop more popular.. wants us to perform more..
so wat.. meaning hip hop is popular and have to gain more popularity..
and leave modern to die instead of catching up with us?
tt's total rubbish... and i feel tt e more i give in.. e more she request...
feel like asking her.. can u b contented?

and early in e morning today.. i went to fay office to get scolding...
how cool is tt?
cos ryan instructor fees got prob...
then she say me and yang nvr coordinate properly..
bla bla bla... hy and i decided tt we shld sit down and talk to her some day..
cos yang tink she controlling too much..
last year she nvr control us so much...
wad eva it is... it's jus a totally bad day.. spoilt by everything...

luckily at night i manage to meet my xingan... who manage to cheer me up a bit...
she e most innocent person ever... hu means no harm... naive gal.. haha... she is sincere...
and wen eva i m down.. she's e first person tt came to my mind to talk to..
though sometimes she dun understand wat i m saying.. but she stil lends a listening ear..
reali like wen i need her she will appear in front of me kinda fren...
love her la.. haha....

i feel like taking a break some day...
jus enjoying...

♥Welcome♥

ABOUT ME!!!
♥Xiaopei♥

♥Where there's dream..♥

♥there's hope♥

♥i wanna dance.. always and ever...♥

♥Temasek Polytechnic..♥
♥Full of happiness and joy ♥
JASMINE AKA ER NIANG
SEAH JAS AKA BAOBEI AKA SINIANG...

♥JYSS..♥
♥it's where we built our dreams on..♥
WEIPING AKA XINGAN
JIAHUI AKA STRAWBERRY
CHU XIAN THE FIERCE GAL

♥DANCERS ALIVE!!!♥
♥Dance is a conversation.♥
PRISCILLA AKA LAUGHING GAL
JASMINEFOONG AKA FENG'ER
JASMINELEE AKA AHLEE
♥OTHERS♥
THONG LER

reminisce

May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
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June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
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February 2011
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January 2012