Wednesday, February 28, 2007
house com spoil.. like damn damn damn..there are some sensitive issues which some might not catch the lil hints.. while some might.. when words are not being spoken out.. it doesnt mean tt everything is fine.. it's for u to sense it.. to react to it.. if u dun.. then too bad.. short answers = deep meaning..comparing sec sch standards to tertiary standards.. for some.. differences can b seen while for some.. it's of equal level and some.. even better.. dancework'07 for sec sch prelims.. was GREAT!!! the group tt exploded.. with all their mighty energy.. and tanglin.. the synchronization.. omg.. it can make ur jaws dropped..have been hanging out with rinna and joan quite often recently.. great times were spent tog.. and long chats with joan is forever so fun.. non-ending topics that goes on and on.. like there's no tomolo tt kind.. intensive training for danceworks is coming soon.. r u gonna make it there? r u gonna back out halfway? or r u gonna do it with a half past six attitude? the choice is yours(reminds me of ms quek).. and there are consequence to b beared.. :) meanwhile.. i m jus letting my lil ankle have ample rest.. while trying to remember routines every now and then whenever i m sitting or stoning.. i'm gonna work hard.. :)
Yxiaopei'er♥
Monday, February 19, 2007
xiaopei's reaction when the auntie gave her the wrong flavour.. (at SMU)
me and xyz at sentosa(valentine sweets)
me and xyz: waiting for musical fountain to start
lovely flowers accompanied with sand
Have been waiting for long to post a happy and cheerful post.. which comes right from my heart and not fake kind.. and yeap.. gonna do so now.. making up for the unhappiness which has been going on.. had a super duper long chat with ryan.. got to understand his thinking and all and i thank him for the encouragement which realli managed to pull me back.. ryan says," if u believe in e club then u will have to pull through. it's tough i know but it will produce fruits if u pull through. jus have to believe in one another and u all will always have my support. take care of them and urself.." superly duperly touching can.. not forgetting the support from everyone.. unice.. jean.. ahlee.. and many more who have been comforting me and all.. not forgetting xyz..
new year was great though the mood and atmosphere wasnt realli like very hype up kind. ang baos coming in.. and lotsa tidbits..
Yxiaopei'er♥
Thursday, February 15, 2007
how is the feeling like when u r being abandoned.. for a moment.. i'm lost.. emotions and stress and everything jus came rushing in.. like a tsunami without warnings given.. how cool is it to meet instructors who have simply given up on u.. we r on our own.. left with 2 paths to choose.. either to give up or to struggle through.. at this crucial point of time.. i guess all we can do is to work as a team.. grudges set aside and all.. i shall try my best to be the nicest person on earth ever to make this thing works.. i need motivation.. to keep myself going.. and i m telling myself not to give up on the team.. though it's like impossible.. i dunno where to find hope again.. sense of emptiness.. loneliness.. and hopeless..there's so much mayb in my head:mayb things wouldnt b liddat if i insist on backing out the first time?mayb thing wont b so bad if we werent so defensive?mayb things wouldnt b this way if we had not listen to ryan and accept gin?mayb things wouldnt b liddat if we didnt wanted to participate in dancwork?i need a break from dance.. i need a break from the world.. i wish no one is toking to me now.. a call from gin call make my heart dropped.. the sentence she said.. was so impactful.. she told me ryan jus called her after our training and said tt he is going to leave us alone.. was tt his best effort in trying to make things work.. i know we sounded defensive.. but yah.. such harsh words actually came out from his mouth.. wat nonsense.. did he even tried explaining things to us in the first place?a conclusion i came to.. never trust.. now even in ur bf.. ur family.. or even ur closest kin.. it doesnt help.. NEVER try releasing ur guard against anyone as long as they r some living things.. it jus doesnt help.. when u try being nice and friendly.. the thorn will poke right through into ur heart...can u sense my heart bleeding now?it was a bad bad day..
Yxiaopei'er♥
Thursday, February 08, 2007
a nice story to be shared.. i got it from one of my dance seniors blog entry.. and found it quite meaningful.. a story of the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.. A professor stood before his philosophy class with several items in front of him.When the class began, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly and the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full and the students responded with a unanimous "yes."The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed."Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jarrepresents your life. The golf balls are the important things--God, your family, your children,your health, your friends, and your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full."The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car."The sand is everything else -- the small stuff."If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or thegolf balls."The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."and yes.. it makes me wonder what are my priorities now? who and what is my golf ball, my pebbles, my sand and my coffee.. thinking back.. what are the things that have been keeping me busy.. basically dance.. tt's of cos.. and my family and xyz.. i guess these are jus the golf balls of my life.. things which i cant lose.. :)have u analysed ur life? take a minute.. sit down and think.. u may have a conclusion to tt.. and a clearer view of how ur life shud b.. :)
Yxiaopei'er♥
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
nice sentences about love tt i came across:A female opinion:
"Love is a most annoying phenomenon that happens without rhyme or reason. And when it does, good luck to you because there is nothing to do but to hang on for the ride. Love is tempestuous and petulant. Like the hurricane that randomly chooses to destroy some and yet leave others untouched. Love is both kind and mean. It is many things but it is never stable.Which is why the calming influence of commitment must be brought to bear. Which is why commitment, to be effective, must be utter and blind. Where love is borne by commitment, then and only then, can fidelity be born out of faith.And fidelity, as we all know, is the cornerstone of marriage."guys opinion:"If you decide to love a person, even with his/her faults, that's not a chance. That's a choice."how true is that?
Yxiaopei'er♥
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
things looks fine.. but there is still fear inside me.. i was told not to anticipate any future issues that is going to happen.. but i have to.. cos i scare i'm too weak to be hurt again.. thanks everyone for comments and stuffs.. knocking some sense into me.. but well well.. diff ppl have diff comments.. as long as it helps k gals.. no debates man.. :) it makes me feel that i shud greatly reflect on myself too.. making an effort.. m i doing enuff? all along.. i tout i have been.. recalling back.. actually i m not.. :( sad to say.. i m not.. i m guilty of it.. things must get better..a trip down for shopping of costume and at the same time cny clothes.. sense my excitement.. i love shopping for cool stuffs.. but time and money always comes into restriction.. money not this time i guess.. haha.. cos i got my pay not long ago.. woolala.. :)
Yxiaopei'er♥
Monday, February 05, 2007
it's always liddat.. each time.. time and again.. when i tout things were fine.. it WONT turn out to b fine.. it seems tt i m deceiving myself.. illusioning tt things r fine.. and next moment back to reality.. realising tt things are not well as i expected.. should i jus drop all hopes and at all time.. remind myself tt things will not be fine even though they seem to b at the current moment.. it's hard to take blows once and again.. my heart is not strong enuff to make it stay..
hurting words tt made my heart sank from the high peak of a mountain to the lowest peak in the sea.. making it back onto the land and stay neutral is hard enuff.. let alone to climb to the highest peak again.. numbness has overtook my feelings..when u ask if i wanna break or not.. it simply jus means tt this thought came to ur mind before.. although actions were not taken yet.. if u feel tt u have had enuff of me.. let go and give up on me.. u make me feel tt i m making ur life miserable by always having all these arguments.. and u know these problems are never gonna be solved..
Yxiaopei'er♥
Sunday, February 04, 2007
YAY!!!! A safe trip back from malaysia.. i can finally put down all my excitement and worriedness.. have to be on guard there every single moment.. once someone is standing along the side or staring at u or bumping into u.. the feeling and the alert-ness will jus shoot up.. haha...a fruitful in personal terms.. not in serious matters terms though.. haha.. supposedly wanna buy our boots for competition there.. but in end.. it jus doesnt fit exactly what we looking for.. plus.. they do not have enuff stocks.. thus the conclusion came to.. we come back to s'pore to find first.. if dun have.. we call to order.. and then fadzlin dad will drive to collect.. :) shopping was GREAT!!! bought 2 pairs of shoes plus 3 tee-shirts plus one tank top plus 1 pants.. wow.. totalli cool.. but we did had much time to shop.. by the time we got our boots thing settled.. it's oreadi freakingly like 4.. and we leaving at 6.. in e end.. everyone dragged here and there.. worst case still.. haha.. but yeap.. i guess everyone enjoyed themselves.. everyone got themselves something.. haha.. but yeap during the trip.. alot of miscommunication.. ppl not cooperating and stuffs.. but yeap.. it's all over.. haha.. kenny roger meal there was fantastic.. yumilicious.. haha not forgetting to mention our long victory march from malaysia custom to singapore custom.. haha.. it's was like.. hmmm.. damn LONG!!! and yes.. i m hoping tt everything for fadzlin is alright now.. babe.. loves to u k.. guys making the malaysia trip safer? true or false.. i'll say true.. thanks guys for tagging along... thanks xyz... u have been great in taking care of me.. always checking tt i m beside u.. ensuring tt i m not lost.. and keep asking me to walk in front of u.. always within ur sight tt kinda thing.. loves to u.. coming to the final week of attachment yet the numbness feeling.. doesnt feel any misses to the company or wat.. sad case.. after attachment.. how will my life b.. m i gonna grad.. what will be my future.. it's something i m still trying hard to figure out.. i have an idea where i wanna head.. but unsure if i have made the right choice.. :) after attahcment i have exactly one more week to shop for cny stuffs.. i haven even get a single shit for cny yet.. mommy and sis was like so busy buying everything and everything.. arrrggghh.. like damn.. haha.. i shall catch up with them soon... and yes valentine is coming..
Yxiaopei'er♥
