dance was good.. KH was here to teach us how to break yesterdae.. and he's damn cool.. he have got a cute smile with his baby face.. and he can do all the stunts so easily.. with no effort needed.. freakingly good.. for my part.. i m suppose to do handstand.. on and off can go up la.. but hor.. there's this very one time.. tt i arch my back too much and lean my weight at the wrong position.. and i fell in one circle.. something like doing one back flip.. and i landed my legs inwards.. fantastically cool.. and.. my right ankle had quite a bad sprain.. totalli like omg.. tt results in me not being able to do full out for the rest of the today's dance lesson.. but i m quite determined to get it right.. way to go... woohoo..KH is coming on mon again.. look forward..

yest night.. there was this bbq organise by hongjia.. celebrating IMF and her bdae.. some of the imf ppl went and some of the students were there too... total coolness.. in e end they also celebrated my bdae.. i have got 2 bdae cakes yesterdae.. one by belle.. with a hello kitty on top.. freaking cute.. she forgot i dun like hello kitty but there's this rabbit on top la.. so yah.. it was quite alright... i very long never receive cakes with cartoons le.. i suddenly feel so young sia... haha.. back to childhoos days... once upon a time.. wahaha.. anywae.. belle got me a very unique bdae present.. although it wasnt something expensive.. but it's the thought tt counts.. and it is reali something tt i like alot.. belle never fails to surprise me with her creativity.. she got sparklers for me.. omg.. i was so happy la.. haha.. and know wat... the sparklers she bought got those fireworks sounds one la.. it was meant to b a trick lo.. then when i hold and she light...the sound scare the hell out of me.. i was screaming like mad la.. wahaha.. imf ppl got cake for me too.. haha.. i love belley..

i received presents from like everyone.. fayanne got me a pair of earrings.. alice MADE 2 pairs of earrings for me.. and she's so proud of herself tt she managed to make out those earrings.. haha... thanks babe.. then she also give me a mid riff top.. so call drop drop kind.. haha.. onli funksoul ppl will understand what is drop drop kind.. haha.. and i got sunflower from bran.. thanks a million.. mommy wanted to call me jus to tell me soemone send me flowers.. but in e end i never pick up e phone cos i was in dance meeting..

thanks rinna.. pris.. jasmine lee.. jasmine foong.. jean.. nicole.. for the message u all bring across.. haha.. let's quote," xiaopei.. we got something to tell u..".. i was stunned cos they were standing in one straight row with tt serious face.. and then.. then they were like "5 6 7 8.. happi birthday" followed by a wave.. haha.. i was laughing like mad la.. cos this is our finale song.. and the song is liddat.. it will go happy birthday.. then 5 6 7 8 and start the routine with 3 consecutive waves.. haha.. to understand it.. pls go for the concert.. wahaha.. it's damn cool.. thanks all the dancers for singing bdae song for me.. haha.. i love u guys..thanks yang alice and cutlet for the sweety chocolaty cake..

thanking moments.. thanks for the following ppl who wish me happi bdae.. some hu i never expected them to remember also.. so yah.. amy.. guowei..cecilia..bran.. jiahui.. joan..yixing..siew juan.. joan.. jean.. yongliang.. jeffrey..diane (omg.. she reali did remember)..my sis.. victor.. eileen.. alice.. thong ler..chu xian.. ah chuan shi xiong.. so touching la.. and of cos those hu celebrated with me.. i love all.. haha..

i got 3 cakes this year lo.. wahaha...

after a long list of bdae updates.. let's get back to serious stuff.. jus now was having dance meeting.. it wasnt a pleasant one.. yang wasnt very happy bout me voicing out bout my unhappiness about the modern instructor in front of all the main comm and sub comm.. i m unhappy.. cos the plan schedule is out and she actually attempted to change it.. i was so freaking pissed bcos she wants to change both day 1 and day 2.. then might as well ask her to plan.. i mean so wat's e purpose of planning when it's meant to b changed..this schedule out for like how many long le.. then now say wanna change.. makes no sense.. yang and alice jus explained to me.. she was trying her luck.. but yah.. since she open her mouth oreadi.. u can dun give her meh.. everyone jus throw one request at me.. then how.. dun plan la.. so yah.. dun care.. jus do wad eva u all wan.. cos i know wad eva i say.. u all stil feels tt i m wrong.. so yah.. jus go ahead with ur plans.. jus tink tt i m unwilling to compromise.. and those hu say dun wan come for camp.. got something on.. then dun wanna stay overnight and stuffs.. yah.. jus disapeear.. fuck off.. i dun wanna c u all there also k.. stop telling me this and tt excuses.. i simply cant b bothered oreadi can.. i m jus very sore about everything tt is concern bout modern now.. yes.. i m voicing out my unhappiness.. cos i m reali unhappy.. u all tink i shouldnt voice out in front all e sub comm and all.. u mean they shouldnt know wat is going on? or i dun need to explain to them and give them a logical explanation? i mean jus b open about everything la.. so yah.. like wadeva.. whether u all like it or not.. it's oreadi done.. and i strongly feel tt i m right.. i m jus such a bitch la.. ok.. and the disputes between modern and hip hop is now in a tense situation.. not i wanna side hip hop or wat.. jus tt.. i feel tt.. modern got one destroyer in ur team... every one knows hu she is.. and i frankly voiced out tt by means and ways i will get her out of the dance team.. cant she grow up? what's with the propaganda and stuffs and all? bad mouthing bout hip hop makes u happy? and u freaking tink u will win and gain support? go join PAP and learn some skills before coming back here can.. u r jus a sore loser la.. u feel jealous jus bcos hip hop team is seemed to b stronger than modern? then prove us wrong la.. and u all feel tt yang is not siding modern.. wat makes u tink so.. it's alot of times when yang always side modern and i always side hip hop.. tt's how arguments are being raised.. and she actually tink yang dun side modern.. like wtf can.. if u urself cant convince urself.. how u expect yang to b convinced by u all.. LIKE HOW? and the way u look at the way hip hop ppl dance tt day.. wat u trying to prove.. gossipping among urselevs.. if u dare.. u stand out and challenge the hip hop ppl la.. wat's ur fucking prob.. wat's on ur fucking mind? izzit full of fucking shits? i guess it is.. i dun like the way she look at us.. it's like telling me u r jealous.. so yah.. jealous then.. wat's ur next step.. prove urself wrong la.. i stayed to watch u dance also.. i dun feel threatened.. cos i feel tt ur techniques are not very good either.. and wat's with challenging main comm's position..and challenging president's position esp.. wat's on ur fucking mind.. jus say la.. complaining bout how slow things are going for concert.. realise it.. it's not onli concert which u c.. how many fucking planning do we have to do.. u tink it's easy for us.. u wanna try.. and u work with school system before.. ticketing and all.. u mean we dun need time to wait for school to approve and print the tickets? if u tink ur efficiency is better than any of the main comm ppl.. step out and confront us.. instead of doing small actions like emailling yang.. which is the president.. complaining bout this and tt or wad eva fucking comments u have in ur fucking mind.. and crtiticising hip hop ppl.. tink we dunno.. u r wrong.. humans have feelings.. and yah.. i'm treating it as i dunno now.. dun make it so bad to one day tt i have to confront u and debate with u.. in any case or reason i have.. i tink i will win e argument.. jus tt whether i wanna make things bad for others to c.. again.. i will say.. dun test my patience.. oh shit man.. i got a strong accurate feeling tt this day is coming near.. so near tt i will jus bombard u and make things ugly for u.. total coolness.. tink of it.. i got tt shuang feeling in my mind.. i told yang seriously.. after concert.. i m jus gonna fucking pick on her.. on every single thing tt she fucking gonna do or say.. until she cant stand it and leave the dance team.. jus like the movie omen.. u have to get rid of the devil.. if not bad things will follow one after another.. so yah.. let me b the bad person then.. i dun mind.. since i have always been a meanie.. and yes.. FUCK ESTHER.. hu have been so agreesive since day 1 she joined dance till now.. haha.. u r jus fucking not gonna win can..

i dunno whether to believe it or not.. it seemed so real yet so fake.. my mind is in a total chaos.. i choose not to think now.. and ignore everything tt i c and i heard.. nothing is jus gonna happen man.. meanwhile.. jus get on with life.. work hard in dance.. well.. tt's what i promised him.. so yah..

sat xingan and the gals booked me.. to celebrate bdae.. yah.. thanks gal.. no cakes pls.. i'm jus gonna cry in front of the cake if u all buy the cake.. so yah.. so a simple outing and at night steamboat at marina bay will do.. i miss the steamboat at marina bay.. i wasnt the one hu suggested it though.. haha.. thanks gals.. appreciate the effort..

gonna have an outing with the dance gals too.. cool.. but everything is not confirmed yet.. cos some down with sip and all..

teaching a new kid tomolo... K1.. learning chinese.. living in tamp.. hopefully everything goes well.. haha.. cheers to pei..

again i wanna b busy to stop myself from thinking and all.. tomolo will b a better day.. no more guessing and figuring.. so yah.. jus wait and wait and wait..

i received an unknown email.. from someone named zen.. i got a shocked out of my life.. the email subject was.. 3rd Sergant Brandon Tan Zhi Rong.. imagine my reaction.. i'm totalli lost.. totalli.. i clicked on the email.. and it was about bran.. he intro himself as bran's platoon commander..he told me bran onli left my contact so i m e best person to know how is his current well being now.. is he gonna announce anything bad to me? i seriously have no idea.. i m very worried.. seriously.. very very worried.. he onli told me tt it's confidential and if i wanna know.. i have to acknowledge back the email.. i did as i was instructed.. but right now.. all i can do is wait here.. silently.. worriedly.. for a reply.. for his reply.. i hope it isnt anything bad.. i certainly hope it is not.. liang told me.. once i hang up the fone with him.. tears flow down his cheeks.. i totalli forgot he was having his supp paper tomolo.. if not.. i swear.. i will never let him know.. i didnt mean to affect his mood.. seriously.. but i reali need someone to talk to.. desperately.. if not i m jus gonna break down and go mad.. wat's happening.. i never felt tt tomolo was so long before.. tomolo is so long.. izzit gonna come soon.. i need tomolo to come soon.. tomolo pls come soon.. pls.. i need to know wat's happening to bran.. tell me pls.. assure me pls.. nothing bad is happening to him.. if not.. im so jus gonna b guilty for the rest of my whole farking life..

i feel tt i m in e lowest point in my life now.. i jus feel like stoning there.. not doing anything... waiting for death day to come.. i dunno y i m sad.. but i m jus sad.. i mean.. u dun reali need a reason to be sad rite? i broke down the moment i reach home.. and cried all the way till now.. which is 530pm.. so yah.. cried for ard 4 hours.. xingan was online.. we talked.. but not much.. i dun feel like mentioning anything.. dun feel like talking.. no nothing.. for the rest of the days in this month.. i wanna be sad.. or shld i say.. i will be sad..

sick and tired of evrything single thing tt has gotta do with dance.. but i dunno y my determination of staying in dance is stil there.. cos of concert? is dance stil a passion? or has it become a responsibility tt i have to bear? i m sick and tired of ppl ard me.. seriously.. too many conflicts in the dance team and so much unhappinness.. i know wat's going on.. i've heard things here and there.. some makes sense.. some r jus childish nonsense.. what's holding me back to stay on in the team.. practically nothing.. but i dunno y i m stil here.. one fine day.. i shall make everyone sit down and voice out all their unhappinness.. instead of backstbbing here and there.. ppl hu r guilty.. reflect.. tt's wat i always say.. no names mentioned..

i managed to chat with him in msn for 15 minutes or so.. i told him everything i feel like saying.. feel a bit better.. but i m stil down.. i got the urge to stab myself to death now.. i m not into depression k.. i jus feel tt life is so meaningless now.. i feel like withdrawing from wad eva i m doing now.. feel like not meeting or seeing any single human in my life now.. jus let me sleep and live in my own teenie weenie world.. i have no freaking idea y i become liddat.. but i m jus liddat..

he told me he wont let my go through my bdae without even 1% of joy on tt very day.. i dunno.. shall c..

my world is upside down now.. mayb for todae.. will tomolo b a better day?

he came back and left again.. within the same day... managed to find time to chat with him on e fone.. however things didnt turn out well.. as usual.. like these recent period.. arguments and disagreements are unavoidable.. somehow.. tired of it.. i stil love him though.. i didnt stop him from going or wat..cos i know no point.. i have no right also.. i know it well tt i wont want this relationship back for now.. dance is my top priority.. actually it's jus an excuse.. i jus wanna make use of this excuse to keep myself busy and stop thinking about everything..

IMF was quite a nice experience.. reali.. no doubt bout tt.. met alot of frens.. last day of IMF.. everyone was bsuy exchanging numbers and talking for the last last time.. haha.. suntec traffic marshal also make full use fo their last chance to wave at me.. and other gals.. cos remember.. they r e despo.. wahaha.. some of them took up the courage and asked for my number.. hilarious.. met one cute guy.. he look very alike to royston.. but he is one hundred time cuter than roy.. i told roy tt.. he denied it.. he insisted tt he is the cutest.. haha..

next week is dance week man.. mon rehearsal for breast cancer event performance.. tues shopping for costume with my funksoul gang.. wed training whole day for funksoul.. thurs rehearsal for the performance again.. and fri is the performance.. woohoo.. i can imagine how i drained i will b.. but it's ok.. it keeps me going and stop thinking about things... i seriously have no intention of celebrating my bdae.. so sian.. it's jus gonna b another sad day.. :((

concert and camp and workshop preparation is going on.. but i do until quite sian oreadi.. it's my sub comm and the main comm like alice and yang tt keeps me going.. they work and work.. with a never-give-up attitude.. the sub comm juniors.. they r nice.. they always offer help.. thanks.. but alot of time.. me myself blur.. dunno what to do also.. damn stress... haiz.. i hope i can stop killing my brain cells..

have been down with the IMF event for the past few days.. and the following 2 more days.. haha.. the first 2 days was abit boring.. as it was the start of e event.. and there wasnt reali many delegates.. most of the trips were quite wasted because there wasnt a single delegate on bus.. but now getting busy.. and today i broke the record of the whole R3 route.. going from suntec city to raffles hotel to swissotel stamford.. i had a record of 31 delegates on board.. as it is a sinlge decker bus.. the bus was full.. all seats were taken..

among all my policeman so far.. today was the worst one.. he went to the back seat and actually doze off there for the whole time.. totalli like wtf.. and y r policeman so despo ppl.. they keep waving at gals.. and then keeps staring at them as the bus passes by.. as if.. they had not seen a single woman in their whole entire life.. and i had quite a few policeman asking for my number.. farking dunno wat's on their mind.. dun they know tt they r not suppose to do so? Nepal police r cute men.. they all had the cutie face with the cowboy hat.. with their rifle.. with tt serious look.... haha.. they r good to disturb though..

i had met delegates from all over the world.. as 184 countries were involved.. kinda cool yah? from what i remember.. i met delegates from africa ( prac everyone board from swissotel is from africa).. dulf (which i simply dunno there's this country tt exist).. washington.. germany... french.. italians(which i find them rude).. arabia.. jakarta.. hong kong.. korea.. IRAQ (and i dun dare to tok anymore after they tell me they from iraq.. i was totalli stunned).. turkey.. switzerland.. i tink tt's all.. from what i remember.. haha..

he left on sat night 7pm.. dunno when he will be back.. i tout days were b e same without him.. it doesnt seems to b.. i miss him like hell lots.. every night isnt a good night now.. thinking of him.. worrying bout whether he is fine.. stil surviving and all.. the feeling totalli sucks.. i emailled him last night but have yet to get back any reply.. he reali intruded into my life.. and frens.. stop asking me if i miss him or do i stil love him.. though we not longer tog.. my ans is yes.. but i always deny it.. i jus dun wanna show out my feelings.. letting others know tt i actually like u know.. falling in love with someone.. and like yah.. reliant on him or wat.. i jus wanna show the strong side of me and tt's all.. the consequences i have to bear for hiding my feelings.. i know.. and i regretted.. c now.. he's gone and how.. silently wait for him to b back lo.. i miss him lots..

but yah.. anywae.. stopping here.. joan is now at my house.. gonna talk to her.. but guess she's enjoying toking to my mommy now..

dance wasnt reali good today.. we didnt learn anything new. .due to e short period of dance session plus we cannot get our floorwork reali perfect.. so yah.. we shall work harder gals... to be serious i wasnt in my right form today.. down with serious flu plus sore throat.. my head is like so heavy. didnt reali feel like going for dance.. but can i? anywae.. todae dance meeting was quite a short one.. cool man.. i need rest.. starting from tomolo onwards.. i will be handing over everything to my 2 capable helpers.. priscilla and jean.. cos i will b away for s2006.. everything doesnt sound as fun as we tout it to b.. according to wat i heard from belle.. but yah.. tomolo night is another dance day.. hope i will b in a better condition to dance.. my passion and enthusiasm for the concert is falling.. i need to rebuild tt kinda enthusiasm.. but how.. even some e dancers like so sian.. bo chap liddat.. haiz.. if yang happen to read this entry.. i wanna let her know.. not i wanna demoralise u.. but me myself feel very demoralise.. but no worries k.. everything stil gonna go on and the concert will still b good..

read an interesting blog entry today.. by one of the dance juniors de bf.. funni shit.. me and pris was laughing our heads off.. omg.. we r the meanie gossipers man.. he blog machiam he reporting his daily life lo.. stating the time of where he went and details of what he did and wat he say... action by action.. word by word.. stated out.. i was like hmmm.. ok.. unique style.. wat else can i say.. haha...

i misses baby.. reali misses him lots.. but this week kinda busy.. thurs results will b out.. i hope everything will b fine.. though chances of passing all is close to 0.. but yah.. it's good to have hopes.. :) baby.. i'll pray hard for u.. i promise..

silly loves dumb dumb...

One of my favourite songs..
the lyrics is damn meaningful la..
haha.. my primary school teacher always sings this song to us during our primary skool days..
xinagn.. xian and hui should know.. hee..

Title: Love, Me
Artiste: Collin Raye

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me.
he said,"boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but i loved your grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
Of her, i found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray.
I know i'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.
Between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.

_______________________________________

another day just pass.. went to orchard with xian.. as usual.. she was super duper late.. she changed the meeting time to 230pm.. and i left my house at 235pm.. first time i ever did this.. cos i was so expecting her to b late.. and yah.. she proved me right.. she reached at 305pm.. we had very nice chicken rice at wisma( i tink.. if i m not wrong.. should b wisma).. and then shopped ard there and went to taka too.. she never saw any thing to her liking so she ended up buying nothing.. haha.. and we headed home early..

went to meet xingan.. onli 2 of us.. jus e 2 of us.. we chatted alot.. very long time nvr chat with her le.. hee.. feel so happy.. practically my whole day was great..

chatted with baby after i reach home.. i realised alot of things.. i realised he was the one tt was with me along planning the camp and my motivation for the concert.. he promised to b there for my concert.. this makes my concert more meaningful isnt it.. baby.. i promise to work hard and i will.. muacks to him.. i shall learn how to take care of myself and not make him worry.. muz always remember his nags.. drink plain water.. have my meals more regularly.. dun b stress.. hee.. my bdae.. i promise him tt i will celebrate with xingan... we'll c how again.. i like e way we r now.. haven had a nice chat for so long.. anywae.. i wanna confess.. when i was on the fone with him.. i teared again.. but guess he didnt realise.. he ask.. u having flu ar.. and i jus answered yah.. wahaha.. hilarious.. but anywae.. e sore throat part is true.. i reali having sore throat but i stil ate tom yam todae.. like him.. i remember tt dae when he having sore throat cos to losing his voice.. he also ate tom yam.. haha..

ok.. stopping here.. gonna start with dance work.. if not wont be able to show fayanne tomolo.. lalalalala...

silly monkey and dumb dumb monkey

although i m very tired now... i stil feel tt there is a need to update my blog.. there is gonna b a drastic change in my life.. my whole entire life.. he is going on a mission.. soon... i know i have no right to stop him from going.. but it is dangerous.. there's no confirm return date or wat.. he told me he wanted to find a reason to stay.. i was hoping i m e reason.. yes i was e reason.. but i dunno how to convince him to stay.. he wanted me back.. i dun wan.. i guess everyone hu know me knows y.. cos i dun wanna commit.. not tt i dun love him.. have to be fair wat rite.. when it comes to relationship... i have to admit i m very very selfish.. everything i do.. i tink for myself.. but i dun find it wrong la.. at least i m realistic.. i know exactly wat i wan.. somehow i jus dun feel like letting him go..i wan him by my side though i not willing to commit? contradicting? i find it so too...

i told him i wont celebrate my bdae unless he celebrate for me.. and he told me he wont b here by the time my bdae comes.. ok.. well.. tt's like jus too bad.. i told him i wan him to come and watch my concert.. afterall he is e one tt went thru e whole thing with me.. giving me all the moral support and all.. he didnt promise me anything... but i stil hope he will b there la.. when we were stil tog.. i have the tout of hugging him tight after my concert on tt very day.. i wanna share my joy and satisfaction and everything with him.. but yah..

i wont wanna c stars if it's onli pictures.. i wont wanna promise i will take care of myself if u r not there for me.. i decided to let go of everything.. cos i know i have no right to ask him to stay since he's no longer mine.. and since i have no intention of wanting him back in my current life.. i can assure myself and assure him.. i will stil love him like always.. but.. not now.. it is jus not e right time to be back tog.. i not willing to commit..

about dance.. the 4 set of 8s tt took 3 hours... the 5 push-ups tt killed us.. but the choreo is nice.. and we had fun..

went out with mommy today.. to chinatown again.. haha.. to have nice dim sum and back to school to submit logistics form to fayannne... no dance training todae :) the bruise on my knee still hurts.. hurts alot *OUCH!!!!



picture of my bruise..










sports complex people.. u all better watch out.. wanna complain so much.. farkers man.. ban us from using the studio la.. come on la.. we pay school fees which includes paying for facilities de lo.. no doubt at times we may be careless in e sense tt we forgot to off the aircon.. but doesnt give u all the opportunity to complain so much rite.. tell me u all dun make mistakes.. if u dare to tell me u all dun make mistakes.. then wat about yesterdae issue? if u wan.. then say it to the hip hop in charge which is me.. not to modern people.. farking make no sense k.. and yesterdae dance studio issue.. u got anything unhappy.. y u all dun voice out yesterdae when u all were talking to me face to face and go complain to modern people today? old uncles.. wake up la.. dun b childish can.. yesterdae in front of me.. try to act nice la.. stupid uncle.. everything also ok ok.. then todae complain.. and dun b fark up lo.. if yesterdae we die die wanna stay in studio u all also cannot do anything wat.. arrrggghhhh.. i m so pissed off and irritated by this issue.. once and again.. i shall lose trust in SAA people.. since sports complex and SAA is somehow connected.. huanyang ask me not to make a big fuss but look.. who finding quarrel first and yesterdae issue.. i seriously dun find it my fault.. AT ALL..

out of this issue.. i had dinner with my sec sch gals todae.. laine xian xingan & hui.. had a nice time chatting.. old folks home.. wahaha.. hilarious.. xian attachment at changi airport.. and hui one at mediacorp.. going out with xian this sun to buy her formal wear plus exploring how to go changi airport from her house.. confirm chop chop she will be late for work one lo.. and she so suay kena start of attachment at the s2006 period.. sure chaos one lo.. haha..

guowei talked to me in msn todae.. first question he asked.. when is my attachment.. then i say.. dunno yet.. guess wat's the next question? he ask me wanna join him for competition (dance floor) or not.. totalli like sian half.. and i jus replied with one word.. nope.. then he say he short of one gal.. then wat? my prob? and i told him need alot of genre of dance not onli hip hop.. it is something like "so u tink u can dance".. and he tell me.. izzit? tout it's join for fun de competition.. haha.. my foot man.. even if it is join for fun.. u tink ur standard there meh? farking no can.. focus on ur old school hip hop and do a good job out of it la.. wahahahahahaha...

lunch with alice tomolo.. before meeting at 2pm... meeting time changed cos.. at night they got modern dance.. i m starting to feel stress bout dance stuffs.. can someone tell me not to be stress.. sometimes i do until i feel as if i cant breathe.. no matter how hard i try.. there will always be something tt i miss out.. or get details wrong.. i tried writing thing i have to do down in a notebook.. i make sure i complete everything everyday before i sleep.. but somehow i will miss out something tt i forget to write in my note book.. and things tt need to be followed up tends to b forgotten.. how? save me...

i have got so much to say about dance today.. everything is so great.. all groups were down but we not doing finale.. we did all the solo groups one.. cool shit.. every group is progressing fast.. and ryan say by next week we should be able to complete everything and by then.. we can start cleaning up.. tt's the nightmare part.. and we can start to chill.. woohoo.. for my group.. ryan say we left ard 12 sets of 8s and we are done with the whole dance.. and guess wat.. ryan changed our group to do b-boying.. which is break dance.. omg man... we were all so excited bout it.. haha.. esp me and pris.. we learnt the basic 6 steps from ryan and we all have the very contented look on our face.. but i got a big big bruise.. which farking hurts alot.. but yah.. if at e end of the day.. everything looks nice.. the effort is worth.. wahaha.. ryan say mayb he will get some o school breakers to teach us some simple breakdance moves if we have the time.. or if not.. they will do the breaking part.. haha...ryan told us our piece will be placed at e last part and continued with finale.. and i was thinking if we all have tt much stamina to continue man.. totalli like hmmm.. great challenge..

all guys team doing old school hip hop.. with all the twirls and locks.. freaking nice.. and newbie they doing a pair work with some of the guys and they have to try to act seducive which i guess none of them can.. all so shy.. roy was so funny when he attempts to do it.. wahaha..

after which we had our break and we were there chatting with ryan.. hilarious.. he told us that he went to watch the dance blast.. which i wanted to go initially cos i heard bout it thru cat.. and yah.. in e end didnt go.. then ryan told us there is something wrong with the choreographer cos the things he do is all very drama mama one.. and very random plus no link.. haha.. using techno beat to do contemp.. and ryan demo the way they bounce.. wahaha... we were all laughing our heads off.. the weirdo instructor has a very china name.. according to ryan but cant remember wat's e name.. haha.. dance synergy coming soon.. finding someone to go with me.. i believe patrick's team gonna do a fantastic job.. haha..

tomolo dance prac is being cancelled cos ryan tinks tt we r progressing fast enuff.. so no need so many hours.. cool.. hee... tomolo morning.. breakfast with mommy again.. :) meeting my xingan and the gals at night for dinner or wat.. xian gonna go for SIP soon.. at changi airport.. haha.. i shall try to b nice and wake her up is i manage to wake up at tt time.. hee.. to make sure she is not late for work.. though it is not quite possible.. haha.. but yah.. xian.. prove me wrong..

the intended purpose of calling is to hear ur voice.. to have a nice talk with u.. before getting down with all the dance stuffs.. and it turned out ugly.. to the extent of putting an end to everything.. somehow i still feel the great differences between us.. our thinking.. and our willingness to compromise.. there are thinkings tt cant b solved.. i admit tt.. so yah.. mayb ending it is the best choice?

i dunno what i want.. when questions starts to come in.. the pressure is on.. and i cant control such things.. can i? somehow this time i dun feel sad.. feel abit relieved.. i cant believe tt's happening to me.. i have always tout tt the day i break with him.. was gonna be the day of like the end of the world.. but it seems like no.. it isnt.. or m i running away from reality? i'm feel so immune to all feelings now.. i dun feel sad.. dun feel happy.. no nothing... jus feel like sitting down and stone..

the first person i told was liang.. he happen to talk to me online like right after i hang up.. and he was stil asking in a kidding manner.. saying.. u and him tog.. then neglect me oreadi lo.. and i feel that he shld know.. so yah.. i talked to cutlet and xingan too.. cos i reali feel like complaining.. they have been great.. reali.. and no doubt my xingan is reali sweet.. haha.. muacks to her.. and thanks cutlet.. cutlet said tt all rabbits are stubborn.. how true is tt?

cutlet was so right about me.. she say from what she know of me.. she feels tt i m someone hu tink using my mind not my heart.. i tend to think rationally rather than emotionally.. i remember ally's nick once put.. gals tend to tink emotionally rather than rationally.. but to me.. it seem to be opposite?

for the rest of my days.. i shall stil continue to spend it meaningfully.. having whole day of dance tomolo.. gonna sweat it out (our slogan) and use dance to make myself happy.. i shall smile.. shall go crazy the whole day tomolo.. i believe i can..

no more mugging of books.. wahaha...
haven been updating..
busy with everything and everything..

kiwi hugs and kisses filled my day.. despite of how stress i m.. hee... have been busy with dance stuffs.. upcoming concerts and camp.. totalli like stress.. and the audit check on tues which is tomolo.. is makin me so worried.. s2006 coming next week.. and no time for all these shit.. need to hand over to someone.. and bcos need to hand over.. alot of things to inform them about.. ensuring everything goes well and dun cock up..

i went to alter my s2006 uniform.. although a bit ex.. total is 26 bucks.. but yea.. i wanna look nice.. haha.. i wont mind spending tt money.. aiming to be the best bus host.. belle was the one hu motivated me to do so.. haha.. talking bout belle.. she ask me out tomolo to go bugis with her.. but i cant make it.. somehow feel bad.. but i promised to go with her on wed.. hee..

most prob this coming sun.. i meeting up with sec sch gals.. organised by xingan.. like finally.. i miss them.. esp xingan... cos the last time we went out.. she wasnt free then unable to join us...

let's talk bout exam.. ooad and ecsa was ok i guess.. wsad was a total killer paper.. most prob gonna flung it upside down.. if u ask me how confident i m of passing.. my answer will be 0% of confidence.. haha.. yah..this is how bad it can be.. but anywae.. we'll c again.. wait till the result is out..

ok.. end here.. shall not write too much.. so tired.. going off to bed now.. woohoo.. dance training coming ahead.. looking forward to the intensive training starting on wed.. SWEAT IT OUT.. our concert slogan.. woohoo..

{pei'er <3 Bran}

♥Welcome♥

ABOUT ME!!!
♥Xiaopei♥

♥Where there's dream..♥

♥there's hope♥

♥i wanna dance.. always and ever...♥

♥Temasek Polytechnic..♥
♥Full of happiness and joy ♥
JASMINE AKA ER NIANG
SEAH JAS AKA BAOBEI AKA SINIANG...

♥JYSS..♥
♥it's where we built our dreams on..♥
WEIPING AKA XINGAN
JIAHUI AKA STRAWBERRY
CHU XIAN THE FIERCE GAL

♥DANCERS ALIVE!!!♥
♥Dance is a conversation.♥
PRISCILLA AKA LAUGHING GAL
JASMINEFOONG AKA FENG'ER
JASMINELEE AKA AHLEE
♥OTHERS♥
THONG LER

reminisce

May 2006
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