Saturday, August 12, 2006
i seriously have no idea y things ends up liddat.. it has never came across my mind tt this will come to an end.. the first serious relationship i have ever been into.. yet it is the one tt has hurt me the deepest.. i'm feeling damn down.. i'm in a lost.. i dunno wat i shld do.. the pain in my heart is beyond description.. but i m not crying.. not even a drop of tears.. guess my heart is too pain to even have any other emotions.. izzit a wrong decision to have committed myself into it in the first place? m i e one causing all this pain to myself?i dunno how i shld face him now.. i seriously dunno...he ask me to tink thru.. and meanwhile? we stay away? living our own life? and let time fade off all e times and memories together? if i know this will b e ending.. i will never have allow u to intrude into my life..it's not his fault.. i know.. i know everything lies in me.. but yes.. i m stil gonna say this again.. this is wat i m.. he ask me to tink if i reali need him in my life.. i cant give him an ans to that.. cos me myself is lost.. i dun wish to ans the wrong thing..and we end up quarelling again.. we quarelled and i asked him to fark off.. not bcos i reali wan him out of my life.. but bcos.. i need to have some peace.. everyone ard me knows tt i cant think clearly once i m angry or agitated.. i will jus start to utter rubbish.. which totalli makes no sense.. and i will piss him off even further.. so wat's e point of talking..not replying doesnt mean i dun care.. there's always a end to a topic.. when we tok until i seriously dunno how i shld reply u.. i choose to shut up.. no point trying hard to come out with an ans.. cos tt's not a natural reaction.. it's something tt i can jus come up with and please u.. but i dun wan.. u understand?even now.. i guess we r not in e right mood to talk.. we need to calm down.. a curse will always remain as a curse.. a 2 months relationship curse..mentally drained....
Yxiaopei'er♥
