Sunday, October 22, 2006
i'm a emo kid.. i was uploading the picture of the sunflower tt ryan gave us and tears rowed down my cheeks again.. i miss the concert.. i miss ryan.. i miss the dancers..ryan put a foto of our dance team and he wrote beside the photo.. my new found love.. thanks ryan for still loving us.. i heard rumours bout ryan leaving dance team.. i dunno whther it is true or not.. but i hope it isnt.. suddenly.. the tout came to me and the bunch of dance frens.. the senior batch.. before concert training became intense..we still hang out as a group.. but now.. when everything gets so tensed up.. conflicts.. quarrels.. arguments all came in.. and the frenship is spoilt.. they no longer ask me out.. neither do i.. i know things wont b e same.. although it is always said tt personal feelings should not be mix into serious matters.. but truthfully asking urself.. u gals dun hold any grudges? i know things gonna end this way.. esp during the concert day.. preparation period.. when i was totalli ignored.. not even joan talked to me.. tt's the most disappointing thing..and i'm utterly disappointed in royston.. how many times have u screamed at me when things go wrong.. and it's ur own fault.. how many times of attitude prob have u gave.. how many times u allow me to explain things? and how many times u demanded for things.. nvm.. forget it.. i know i can never be back with these frens.. i dunno if they still treat me as frens.. but i expected such things to happen since i m in main comm.. i know i can never satisfy everyone.. never..i'm jus sad over some things.. if the concert never exist.. if i m not in main comm.. how would me and them b like now?
i going away for attachment le.. i miss everyone in the dance team.. i m reali emo now.. but yah... fri moments keep passing by my mind.. even i look at my costume i also cry.. will we still be as bonded or will we go our own way? alot of questions in my mind.. nvm.. i'll get over it..
had dinner with my sec sch babes again.. and raazmy came all the way from katong to tamp to find me.. jus bcos he got nothing to do.. lame shit.. he's one of the dancers i'll reali miss in the concert.. my emo fren.. haha.. the process have been fun bcos of these ppl who did little things to brighten up my life..
regarding me and bran.. i guess everything is reali coming to an end.. i reali giving up.. cos i know i dun love him as much anymore.. no point.. jus when i tout everything is gonna be fine.. it isnt.. i know i cant lie to myself about tt.. cos nothihg will work out in e end..
Yxiaopei'er♥